The statistics of domestic violence in Trinidad & Tobago are beyond terrifying.
According to Margaret Sampson Browne (TTPS Victim & Witness Support Unit) for the period between 2005 and 2015, almost 300 women were killed due to domestic abuse while there are over 7 thousand reported cases of domestic abuse between 2008 and 2015.
Lynette Seebaran Suite, Chairman of the Equal Opportunity Commission (EOC) stated that in 2017 of the 52 women murdered, 43 of these were due to domestic violence and in the first quarter of 2018 over 15 deaths have been recorded thus far.
The numbers do not seem to be decreasing. The big elephant in the room is a serious discussion on the causes of domestic violence. No one wakes up one day and starts beating their spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend to death.
WHAT CAUSES DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Abusers learn violent behaviour from their own families and from the community. Of course, this is in no way an attempt to justify their abusive and criminal acts which should be dealt with immediately and in the strongest terms, but rather to understand the causes in order to put things in place to prevent more deaths. Nothing justifies the actions of an abuser under any circumstances.
We live in a very angry society. The perfect example is when you are on the road and you witness a very disturbing trend: Angry people behaving like hooligans. Shouting, insulting, cussing and even pulling guns or cutlasses for the smallest things. It seems like we forgot how to communicate with each other and dialogue isn’t even part of our everyday approach to disagreement.
Many individuals in our society are victims of domestic violence without realising it. Even though physical abuse is one form of domestic violence there is also psychological abuse and controlling behaviours. Most of the time, some of these characteristics are downplayed and justified as “jealousy” and the victim ends up being blamed for the partner’s violent behaviour and tendencies.
WARNING SIGNS
Let’s go through some warning signs that can help to protect yourself and others:
Your partner/spouse mistreats you, abuses you by doing the following:
- Accuses you of having an affair constantly.
- Criticizes everything you do, including name-calling.
- Punches the wall, throw objects, and seems mentally unstable.
- Threatens to hurt you, kill you or your children/family.
- Makes you feel worthless, stupid and yells as the main form of communication.
- Controls every single aspect of the family’s finances without your input.
- Even though you work, he gives you an “allowance” where you must justify every single expenditure.
- Stops you from wanting to work outside the home.
- Stalks you, checks where you are and who you are with at all times.
- Hits, pushes, pull hair, punches.
- Locks you inside the home until his return.
- Forces you to have sex.
If you are a victim of domestic violence, please understand that the abuse will NOT stop no matter how many “chances” you might give your partner or how “regretful” your spouse might look like. The abuse will ONLY stop once you get away from an abusive relationship.
You are NOT alone. Please contact 999.
SHELTERS
(Diego Martin) Four Roads Police Community Facility (632-3463)
(Arima) Nkevah Centre (667-5353)
(Sangre Grande) Goshen House (battered women and teenage pregnancy) (642-1693)
(Sangre Grande) Mizapeh Halfway House (668-3897)
(Chaguanas) Hope Shelter (672-5620)
(Tobago) Towers Safe House (639-4620)
(Gasparillo) Halfway House (657-9114)
(Central) Social Establishment for the Welfare of All (679-4649)
(Siparia) Medinah House 657-2753 (Boys under 12, girls under 16)
(La Brea) Vision of Hope 648-7730 (Boys under 12)
(Rio Claro) Myrtle’s Place (331-6450)
(San Juan) Home for Family Reconciliation (674-3088)
I honestly think that a lot of these domestic abuse cases involves either spouse being afraid to come out and admit to the police on what is going on in their households. What if perhaps the abuser threatens to kill or to do something bad to the spouse who has the desire to stop the pain from happening again and again? Programs are simply not enough, people need to recognize the signs of abuse – not just domestic but all forms of abuse since they all matter. The little details of a person’s behavior, posture and look can give off a wee little hint that maybe they be under pressure by someone who is taking over their lives. Obviously a lot of people who really are under those cases may lie to you and claim that everything is ‘fine’ or ‘they’re happy’ when in reality they are not and trying to hide from further trouble. The reason why the number for domestic violence keeps increasing is because there is no one to deal with the issue once and for all! If someone commits a crime and no one is there to stop him/her, they will keep doing it until something happens to them.
well said this is soo true.
Women and men are both very embarrassed by domestic violence. It is hard for both sexes to admit to having someone possess them- in ways they would have never thought of. Women are being empowered in the 21st century in lots of different ways. Notice though, that those women who have spoken out about their abuse have all had support. Some cultures in Trinidad won’t allow their daughter to return home if she’s being abused. They will tell her she is married and therefore she will have to go through the bad days with her husband as well as the good ones. There is NO POLICE SUPPORT in Trinidad. Their response time is awful on every level. They only hurry to a site when you are dead already and even then it depends on how death came about. I find it so hard to swollow; knowing the sweet T&T I came from. Now most Trini’s don’t really want to return home to live. A quick visit and we are out especially on the wake of covid 19. This pandemic has allowed all types of predators to awake. The country is being hit on all side of violence. I pray that the government enlist new laws powerful enough to make a drastic impact of violators of the law against children, women and the few men also. The Police response need to be better than just good, they need to remove themselves from any and all forms of corruption to better enable them to do their jobs at the best of their abilities. It is time the government and those working with, in and for the government to start taking real pride in Trinidad once again. Like the olden days when we had Dr. Eric Williams. My prays are with you the people of my sweet T&T.